'I think I'll expose if the film was good and the director, fabulous'

How come you are doing so many commercial films these days?

I have not accepted too many commercial films. It's just that I did Dil Se and Ghulam, and Ghulam is a hit. Dil Se is not really a flop. I think it is picking up.

Subhashji offered me Taal and he said it's a kind of role which when you see the film, you want to be like this woman. She is completely independent, somebody who is on her own, a really contemporary kind of a person -- fun to be with. I even have cut my hair short. So you would have some idea. Subhashji is not for any kind of typecasting at all you know.

Doesn't that sound something like the Ghulam role?

Yeah, in Ghulam I did have something similar. But there I am within a certain circle. Into social work kind of the thing. There I am a lawyer and just one of the characters. In Taal, I'm a very independent woman, a television journalist. So there is a certain emphasis on who the woman is rather than what the plot is. She is ambitious. There is a scene where the heroine of the film, Ash, thinks that a woman can be like this, and gets inspired to become what she finally becomes in the film.

In commercial films, in the end, one can't say what stays and what remains. But Subhash Ghai insists that it is one of the principal characters and I am sure it must be true.

Did Subhash Ghai offer you this role after seeing Ghulam ? Or did he do it because you have begun doing commercial films now?

I don't know. I suppose Ghulam and Dil Se sort of puts you up there. But I knew him (Ghai) off and on for years now. He, in fact, has also invited me as far back as his muhurat of Khalnayak. So he has known me for a longish time.

The curious thing is that I always liked his films, but I never asked him for a role. Because, in his films, apart from the hero and the heroine, there are no other major characters. So I knew I would have nothing to do anyway. We have kept in touch but never talked about work as such. I never said I'd love to work with him or vice versa.

It was nice because, as two professionals, we just understood that whenever there was something to do together, we'd do it. He was quite clear that unless he didn't have something to offer me, he wouldn't invite me to act in his films. The whole thing was that he felt I could do something and I thought that the character was good and that's how it happened.

Ghulam certainly broke the kind of barrier, I agree.

Why this sudden need to do commercial cinema?

I think everything is put into compartments in the Hindi film industry. It's labelled, so that if you act in a film by Mani Kaul, or Kumar Shahani, you are at a major disadvantage. Because the idea is that you are too avante garde, too esoteric.

You are interested in a certain kind of cinema. The curious thing about me is that when I want something too much, I never get it. I try very hard, but no... I don't know... It's there. I always get the thing I thought I'd never get, never even strove for.

All my roles are ones I never asked for, including Ghulam. The same applies for my art films. There were films which came my way and I really wanted them, but -- no luck. So after all this, I reached a point where I felt that all I had to do was to have a good time as a actor and keep working, never thinking too much about what I wanted anymore. What's always come my way has been a big surprise to me -- always a pleasant one. By surprise I mean surprise, and not shock.

Which are the films you really wanted to do and didn't finally?

Shekhar Kapur's Bandit Queen. It's amazing when people say that I didn't do the film because of the nude scene in it. I have already done nude scenes in films like Siddheshwari and Kasbah. And then I am an actress first.

Then what happened?

There are many reasons. That I was too attractive, that they needed somebody who was new and nondescript. Whatever, And it was not even that Shekhar had not seen me at all. He has been with me in Drishti.

This film was not meant to happen with me. I was certainly in the running for a long time. I have no idea how the rumours started that I didn't do the film because of the nude scene in it. It's very flattering that people think I'm in a position to refuse such a great film that is a huge internationally award-winning film. It makes me feel like a superstar actually.

But you were disappointed, despite the reasons?

See, I knew the film was a sure-fire success. And Shekhar is a very competent director. He doesn't look as if he does much work, but he does. And then I also knew that it would be recognised internationally.

Would you have the same attitude in the commercial films?

I'd love to do a film with no clothes on because it would be such a relief. I would want it to be seen all over the world. It's not a question of a commercial or art film. Anybody who would want to do that with me would have to make sense while telling me the reason.

I think I'll expose if the film was good and the director, fabulous. I've no qualms about that. I think very differently, and I am not coy about it. I really need to believe in it.

How did you get the role in Ghulam?

I didn't try for the role. I was doing Swabhimaan, which is Mahesh Bhatt's serial, and he kept offering me roles but nothing worked out.

I was shooting for Govind Nihalani for his serial, and Anjum Rajabali who has written the dialogues for Ghulam was around the studio and he told me he wanted to talk to me about this role. I asked him what role it was and he said it was a lawyer's role. I promptly said no.

'Cause I knew that I might not have anything much to do there, knowing how commercial films worked. If they wanted to shorten the length of the film, this is the first role to go. So I refused. But he persisted and said it was an important role. He said the hero and I are almost like alter egos.

So I asked who the hero was and he said Aamir. I thought that since he was a good actor it could be fun. Then I asked him whether I had two good scenes in the film, scenes that would be mine and wouldn't get cut. He said yeah, and I was in.

Were you happy with the way your role turned out finally?

Times have changed in the last five years. Things are different in the sense that today there is no distance between good cinema and parallel cinema. You suddenly have films like Satya and Ghulam.

Now you are looking for good actors. We need a good supporting cast because they really support the film and give a whole new look. Eight-nine years ago there was nothing like this.

Did television help you get better roles?

I don't think television helped me get better roles in films. Because I don't think anybody cast me after seeing Swabhimaan. I don't think the two things are connected. It might work for a lot of other people, but not for me.

Swabhimaan gave me a new identity and kept me in the news in a way. I somehow don't see the connection between the films and the serials I do. Lots of people and directors have seen Drohkaal and liked me in that. I think I stayed in their memories because of that film, though that film was something like four years back.

I won't say I got a lot of offers after that film like I would say that after Dil Se and Ghulam I didn't get many offers either. The kind of character I am playing in Taal is nothing like the character I play in Ghulam.

I don't think they see you and keep you in mind for a long time. They see a film and say, ok, she is in the market and doing commercial roles too, so fine. So that's how you get a role. Not because you are capable of something.

Is that how you did that role in Dil Se?

When I took up Dil Se I wasn't told the entire story but was given this big hook that my role in Dil Se is going to be much more exciting and much better than your role in Drohkaal.

Do you agree?

Of course not! But we did some exciting shooting. I had this nice fight sequence with Shah Rukh that finally isn't there in the film. Mani was always secretive about the story line, but his assistants would assure me that my role was good.

It was a big thing that it was a Mani film. I always wondered how could anything be better than my role inDrohkaal. There I was the main heroine of the film, in a manner of speaking. I thought that since the films were compared, I thought it might be a good enough role. Which the way he shot might have had. But then the final outcome is something that the director wants.

Didn't you take that up with Mani Ratnam?

But you don't know where the story line goes and all that. There's not much I've done in the film. I felt that I've not done anything that I am capable of. I feel I don't need to prove myself as a good actress. I don't need one scene where people go, wow, what an actress. I know what kind of actress I am and I think a lot of people know that. What I need now is a showcase. I need length in a film. I need to be seen, to be put there in terms of a length of my role. A good solid role. I really need that.

I don't need to prove my talent. I need to look good. Shot really well. Because that's what films are all about. They need to be desirable up there. On the big silver screen. And create an impact. So I am not interested in anyone offering me one great scene where I show my talent.

Thank you for the compliment, but can I be someone who looks and acts desirable. I amn't interested in helping a film along in that sense. By being a "presence" in the film. Because there is much more to me, to what I can do. I want that. I'd love to do a lead role. By that I mean my way.

You mean you actually want to do what our actresses are doing?

'I want to be there and in a big way. So maybe I do Mani Ratnam for that'

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