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Mapillai Diplomacy

V Gangadhar

Followers of coalition politics must wonder what will ultimately happen to the never-ending tussle between the ruling government and one of its allies, the AIADMK, the regional party from Tamil Nadu, led by the irrepressible J Jayalalitha.

Cartoonists in India are having a field day at the expense of this tussle. When Jaya sneezed in Madras, Prime Minister Atalji caught a cold in Delhi. As Jaya went on making one demand after the other, and the government acceded, people felt that India was being ruled from Madras. Jaya sulked, and the prime minister sent his trusted aide, the suave Jaswant Singh as his special envoy.

But this strategy is not working anymore. The last time Singh went to Madras to negotiate with Jaya, he did not get to meet the Great Lady, despite waiting for several days. The government think-tanks were in a dilemma on how to deal with this situation. And I am glad to say, they found a solution. The prime minister, it is reported, himself took the lead and deputed his son-in-law (the husband of his adopted daughter) as his emissary to the AIADMK leader.

This move, I am sure, will be highly appreciated by Jaya, her followers and everyone in Tamil Nadu. Why? Because, the emissary is the mapillai (son-in-law) who is always received in Tamilian homes. Jayalalitha and her follows will go out of their way to receive the new emissary and accept his proposals. The central government will be safe.

What is so special about the mapillai in Tamil homes? I guess it is the tradition. The phrase being 'treated like a mapillai' mean five-star treatment at all levels. The son-in-law is next only to God, and his worshippers include the in-laws, who, despite being senior in age, have to be servile.

I have come across several mapillais in the South. They had to be formal, stiff, demanding and taciturn. The attitude is normally referred to as mapillai murukku and the details for this are passed on from generation to generation. When the son-in-law planned his first visit to his wife's home, he would be thoroughly briefed. "Be stern. Don't laugh and mix with them freely. Keep your distance. Your wife and her relatives will try their best to cast their spell on you and try to lure you from us. Watch out." The poor young man would nod, not knowing what awaited him at his in-law's home.

So the façade went on. Even if the wife's home was a small one, the mapillai was given a special room where he sat in royal, isolated splendour. His father-in-law and brothers-in-law visited him every half an hour or so to find out if he was comfortable and needed anything. At the same time, the in-laws would not think of sitting in the room and making small talk with the son-in-law. That would be downgrading his position.

Every whim of the young man would be fulfilled. I remember a son-in-law, who practised playing the nadasvaram. When he arrived at his in-laws, he was received with nadasvaram music. Not stopping there the father-in-law invited the professional nadasvaram people to his house everyday so that they could practise with the son-in-law. The entertainment, no doubt, was a bit loud, but the household put up with it.

One of the major irritants for the pudhu mapillai (new son-in-law) was the presence of the younger brothers-in-law who did not know to leave the young couple alone. As soon as their sister entered the room occupied by her husband, the brats followed her and suggested all of them play caroms or pallankuzhi. The son-in-law would never be enthusiastic to these suggestions and tried his best to get rid of the brats, sometimes through words, other times using subtle forms of bribery (like money for movies).

A home with the mapillai was different. Everyone talked in whispers so that the respected guest would not be disturbed. The neighbours would be told of the 'VIP arrival' and invited at fixed times to meet the great man. The cook was always on his toes, finding out the favourite dishes of the mapillai and serving him these. The house became normal only at the end of the 'royal' visit.

So, when Atalji's son-in-law arrives in Madras, the AIADMK leaders and people would immediately take to him. I am sure he will be accorded the red carpet treatment. Jaya will sit and talk to him for hours together and find out what Atalji wanted her to do. And she will do it. That could signal the end of the political tension in the country. Mapillai diplomacy once again will succeed.

Finally, how did Atalji get the brainwave to send his son-in-law on a peacemaking mission? I think I know the answer. The prime minister had been consulting hundreds of astrologers. Some of them must have been from Tamil Nadu who knew the importance of the mapillai factor. They must have advised Atalji to use the services of his son-in-law and assured him of certain success.

Eat your heart out, opponents of the Atalji government. You have found your match!

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