Troubled England defender Ashley Cole says the fallout surrounding his "tapping-up" links with Chelsea might have caused an irretrievable breakdown in his relationship with Arsenal.
Cole, 24, was fined 100,000 pounds on Wednesday after being found guilty of approaching Chelsea and the chance of him fulfilling the contract that should keep him at Highbury until 2007 now looks remote.
"I think it's a broken bridge that might be impossible to mend. I blame [chairman] David Dein for trying to force me out of the club I love," Cole told Sunday's News of the World.
"They've left me feeling there is no way back, that they don't want me to put my beloved Arsenal shirt on again.
"I feel betrayed, confused and badly let down. If there's no future for me at Highbury then it's all down to them. It's no exaggeration to say that they've broken my heart.
"Can I ever forgive them? I really don't know. I've supported Arsenal since I was seven but they have hurt me.
"I get the impression they want me to go and I can't help feeling it's all over.
"They have let it get to this stage and they have let me down. I'm more upset than angry, I have been there a long time and they are not prepared to look after me."
Dein made the initial complaint to the Premier League about Cole's meeting with Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho and chief executive Peter Kenyon and the player was unhappy with his approach.
"Dein didn't show me any respect and treated me like a little kid," he said. "I'm convinced a section of the Arsenal board don't want me. What else am I supposed to think when my own vice-chairman drags me through the ordeal of an official inquiry?"
However, Cole also told Sunday's Observer that he did not want to leave and, when asked if he might stay, he said yes.
"I still wouldn't sign for another Premiership club because I couldn't imagine playing against Arsenal. If necessary I will let my contract run down and leave on a free in two years," Cole added in his News of the World interview.
He said that despite his highly-publicised contract negotiations his main concern had not been his salary.
"It's not about money, it's about decency and the principle of treating people fairly, he said. "If they offered me 100,000 or 200,000 [pounds] a week now I wouldn't accept it.
"Even though I knew many of my team mates were earning much more than me I never demanded equal pay.
"I can look at myself and say: 'Ashley, you loved Arsenal and you never let them down.'
"Can the board say the same? I don't think so."
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